come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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