saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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