How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
