i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
