Who wears a wallet chain?!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
