Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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