Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
