is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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