He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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