I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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