I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
