i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The Olympian is in my bed
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