she was so not down for the gang bang
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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