Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
