Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My vagina just recognized that song.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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