I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
