i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
