I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize