Screwed.edu
and she was petting her beer can
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
how drunk are you?
Several
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
