I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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