just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
