I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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