life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize