I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
