Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
