If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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