I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
