This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
