Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
