Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
