WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
