weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
