I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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