"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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