ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize