(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
