i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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