New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize