Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
