I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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