and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
