I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
