I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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