Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
