your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
