I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
