i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
