I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
