just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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