You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
