i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
