Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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