somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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