Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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