Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
