the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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