Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
