His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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