so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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